School Bells Are Ringing!

When I hear about school starting, it brings back memories of my children growing up. One such memory is of my then 5 year old (she will turn 21 next week) daughter Gabrielle.  This 5 year old taught her mother a valuable lesson she shall not soon forget about savoring life’ moments. #drgspeaks #handleyourbusinessgirl #schoolbellsareringing

 

SCHOOL BELLS ARE RINGING

I was working on a critical project. With the printer humming and papers shuffling, I hardly noticed my then 4 year old daughter’s gazing eyes. When she asked for something to drink, I told her to wait and I went back to work. After a few minutes and what probably seemed like an eternity to her, she asked again. I let out an annoying breath, went into the kitchen, and poured her some juice.

Years ago, when she was just 2 years old, I told Gabrielle that she was important to God and to me. She and her brother were miracle children. Doctors said that I would never have children unless I had surgery. I had no surgery but conceived in my 40’s. I had Joshua at 41 and Gabrielle at 43. I wanted her to know how special she was to God, so I daily quoted Psalm 45:13-14, which states, “The royal daughter is all glorious within the palace. Her clothing is woven with gold. She shall be brought to the King in robes of many colors.” I told her she was that royal daughter.

While I watched her sip her drink that afternoon, I couldn’t imagine that she understood what I taught her. Although I quoted the verses to her every night at bedtime, I wasn’t sure she understood.  When she finished her drink, I picked her up and twirled around the kitchen floor, while whispering in her ear how precious she was to me. I told her that Mommy was not looking forward to her going off to kindergarten that year and jokingly said I was thinking of keeping her at home with me. Her response sent shock waves through my heart and brought tears to my eyes.

“But Mommy, I have to go school so I won’t bother you anymore,” she said. I nearly collapsed. I held her tightly as I wept; telling her that she never bothered me. Time suddenly reminded me of my response to her when I was on a telephone call and she needed me. I remembered asking her to be quiet as she walked in with her dolls. I remembered my response when she asked me to read to her when I had an “important” project that needed my attention. I remembered each sharp look; each impatient response; and each forgotten request. Now, she was ready to leave me because she thought she was bothering me.

That day, as I held her, my baby looked up at me with sparkling eyes and wiped away my tears with her tiny hands. Her words tore down the wall of important projects. They smashed the mountain of critical phone calls. They melted the glacier of accomplishment. That day, I pushed aside every distraction that kept me from sharing these last precious weeks with her before she went off to school. I realized that the school bells were ringing. They rang so loudly that they awakened me from my slumber. Without them, I surely would have missed moments with my child that I could never recover.

I hugged her, painted with her, read to her, and loved her. After we finished, with painted hands and faces, we laughed and twirled together. When we stopped dancing, to my delight, she quoted the familiar words of Psalm 45:13-14 and said, “Yes, Mommy. We’re both daughters of the King!”

Seeing her face light up with joy, I decided that I would listen more closely for the bells and would not forget the lessons she taught me that day.

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Making An Impact!

JULY 15 2019

During the months of June and July, I had the awesome opportunity to visit Memphis, TN. The Tarik Black Foundation invited me and my daughter Gabrielle to be a part of their summer Girls Life Academy Memphis (GLAM). We were delighted but nothing prepared us for what we experienced. Unlike many summer programs that focus on education, summer GLAM focuses on life skills, leadership and entrepreneurship.

The Foundation has been hosting this summer event for a few years, but this year, they made some changes. They invited young men to join the camp. Because of the change, I received the awesome opportunity to speak to both groups.

This camp actually helped to me to achieve a dream. Gabrielle is only 20 and she is still in training as far as writing and speaking is concerned. Because of this opportunity, we co-authored a long overdue book, The Galaxy Journal. Gabrielle grew up in an environment of writing and the principles in this book served as a foundation for her. Each young woman received a copy and Gabrielle got to speak to them on her own. This was the first time that we did not team teach and something that I knew needed to happen.

While Gabrielle was working with women, I had the honor of speaking with the men. I taught on my book for men, The Conduct of Kings. I do not have words adequately describe what happened except to say that we learned a great deal from each other. they were pleasantly surprised and even requested that the foundation bring me back a second time.  Here’s a quote from the president about the presentation:

“Without a doubt Dr. Gail Hayes changed lives these past two days. Her session with our young men had them on the edge of their seats as she talked to them about the expectations, fears, desires and motivators of both genders. She shared the principles of her book, Conduct of Kings and we could not get these young men to break for lunch. After two straight hours they still wanted to hear more. The only time I’ve seen 16 -19 year old guys listen as attentively is when the coach calls a time out and the players run over to listen to the next play. She empowered these young men with such wise counsel and you actually witnessed their transformation.”

Talk about making an impact! While these words blessed me, it cannot compare with the impact these young men and women had on me. Because of them, I am now focusing on my next book on relationships. They provided a miraculous place for me to delve more deeply into the realm of male/female relationships and see things I had never seen before. Even as a wordsmith, I cannot grasp words to describe the experience.

Their willingness to be transparent and open helped each one of them to change their views, shift their focus, and will most likely help them to make better choices. That was the REAL reason the Tarik Black Foundation and I came together. We want to make an IMPACT that lasts a life time.

So, what’s your next move? What impact are you leaving on others. Message me and let me know! I’m listening…

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I am FINALLY doing it!

Facebook Page BannerI am finally starting the Handle Your Business Girl Facebook Group and I want you to join me!

It’s been a long time coming. There have been so many challenges that I’ve faced and I did not want to put them out on Social Media but in this group, I will be more transparent. Why would I do that? Well, there are so many women who want REAL answers to REAL questions.

If you’re just looking for ways to make money, this is NOT the group for you. If you are just looking to find ways to expose and shame other women, this is NOT the group for you.

This group will be one where we can openly discuss things to help build each other up; support each other in ways that we never thought possible without wounding each other. In the end, if you want to do business, you can but you can’t do REAL business until you accept, love, and cherish that woman called you.

Once you get that piece, the rest is easy. You won’t have time to talk negatively about others because your business will become a healing place where you can dance in the light of you power! So, if you’re ready…join me in the Handle Your Business Girl Empowerment Zone! Here’s the link!

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Dancing The Dance!

April232018

     “Right foot first Gail,” my mother’s voice cut through the soulful music. I was so caught up in the rhythm that I was not following instructions. I didn’t even feel it when I stepped on my mother’s foot. It was interesting watching her hop on one foot as she made her way to our sofa.

I had never seen my mother smile and display such passion as when I asked her to teach me to dance. Now, this was not the wiggling and twisting dancing of my day. It was the “hand dancing” of her day. She was a teenager of the 1950’s and during that time the men would swing, twirl and lift the women off the floor as if they weighed only 15 lbs soaking wet! I loved watching the “swing” dancing on old television programs and I was determined to learn.

What I didn’t know was that my mother was not only teaching me to dance, she was also teaching another vital life lesson. As the first born of seven children, I was born into leadership. I followed her instructions well and she often left me in charge when she had to leave us. I was accustomed to leading and helping her to care for my younger siblings.

“You have got to learn to follow. When you dance with a boy, he has to lead. I know that may be hard for you to hear, but it’s just the way it is. You’ll learn. I promise,” she said. As she sat down and rubbed her sore foot, she laughed until she wept. I remember tears rolling down her cheeks as she beckoned for me to sit beside her. Her hug was my comfort but she was right. I didn’t particularly like the fact that I couldn’t lead.

I did learn to dance with my mother. And I also learned another lesson. Not only could I lead, but I learned to follow. I stopped stepping on Mom’s toes and followed her as we danced the dance in beautiful rhythmic steps. Together, we were poetry in motion; switching between leading and following each other!

 If one is to become successful, one must also learn to follow. Success requires balance. One must learn and be open to new ways of doing old tasks. There are times when you lead. There are times when you must follow. If you want Success to abide with you, then you have little choice but to learn how to dance the dance!

©2018 – Dr. Gail Hayes – #drgspeaks #handleyourbusinessgirl

 

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Move Those Mountains!

April92018

Although I’ve seen mountains on three continents, they never cease to amaze me. Even though their beautiful snow-capped peaks beckon my eyes to drink in their magnificence, I have no desire to adorn myself with warm clothing; grab spikes and rope and perform an arduous climb to the top.

But there is a type of people who not only climb mountains but they also do something more miraculous. They move mountains. They move mountains daily and they do it without spikes, ropes and warm clothing. They do it without equipment. They do it without the help of others. They perform miracles every single day. How do they do it?

They step outside of themselves and infuse the atmosphere with powerful, positive energy and ask nothing in return. They don’t have special equipment or talents. They just do what they do the way that they do it. They do it with spirit.

If you stepped outside yourself and helped another, you moved a mountain. If you honored your word, you moved a mountain. If you’ve spoken a kind word, you moved a mountain. If you honored a promise made to another, you moved a mountain. Mountain movers are not fazed by the harshness of human judgment or the criticism of the ignorant. They just do what they do! Does that describe you?

Then you are a mountain mover!

 

©2018 – Dr. Gail Hayes & the Handle Your Business Girl Empowerment Zone, LLC

 

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Hind Sight Is 20/20

April22018

Many things have happened in my life that appeared to be negative but now I see that they were necessary for my life’s tapestry. They were less than what I deserved. The cut was not tailor made for me. The texture didn’t flow with my movements. The color didn’t suit me and the length was out of proportion and unflattering.

 

As negative as this sounds, these happenings painted my present with glorious possibilities and I see my future filled with luminous, delicious color. I am grateful I experienced every moment.

Remember this…You cannot drive forward looking in the rear view mirror. If you do, you can miss your exit to destiny. Yes, there are times when looking back can help us, but we must accompany our looking back with wisdom. When we glance into our past, we cannot have regrets about what we believed we missed. If we missed it, it was probably not something we  needed in our lives. Our “coulda, shoulda, woulda” blues cannot help us navigate our future and walk in destiny.

Hindsight is 20/20 when we use the information to produce wisdom. So, handle your business because destiny awaits you!

Dr. G

Visit me on the web in the Handle Your Business Girl Community!

Join the conversation on my Facebook Page

 

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The Conduct of Queens – Ruling Principle #2

RP2

 

If you are to be a wise ruler, you must understand one of the fundamental principles of reigning. You must accept the real and authentic you and all the beauty and power that comes with it. Authenticity, although an asset, is not easily won. Mines set to sabotage you from wholeness fill Life’s battle ground and there are times when you must fight to collaborate this elusive ally.

The best way to win this battle is to understand the power of self control and self acceptance. When you understand and embrace who you are, focus becomes an integral part of your landscape. It invites Authenticity to hold you in his arms and guide to you a place called Queendom. It then becomes easier to guard your borders and to “rule yourself” without excuse. And that my sister…is a great place to be!

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